I knew going into this that it would be a small circus and juggling would be the main act. But what I did not know was that I would not be able to juggle all the bean bags (I like to use bean bags because bean bags change while thrown in the air where other objects like apples and oranges do not. Throughout this juggling act that is what happens to the parts of my life, they change with their flexibility) in my life. Some bean bags are juggled less like communicating with friends and family (hence the blog that can reach everyone, although it does seem like I am writing to myself sometimes - anyone out there??? I know people have something to say.), pampering myself (sounds so selfish), date night, R&R and taking care of myself. The main bean bags in the juggling act include Rohan (of course!), work, school (I will finish my Masters even if I take all the breaks I am allowed between classes!), laundry (it's never ending!), cleaning (OK clean has a new definition these days), sleep and cooking (I should have taken advantage of the lazy days pre-Rohan).
Rohan is juggling act with in the juggling act. Giving him love and care is the easiest job ever! Don't be fooled, keeping up with his needs and wants (I should say guessing what he needs or wants), capturing moments on camera, trying not to miss out on his firsts (which I am sure we will now that he's in daycare), feeding him the proper amount (when to start food etc! a whole other post), teaching him to sleep, keeping up with his ever growing body that flew through 3-6 month clothes (we are wearing 9 month clothes these days!!!!) and making sure he is at the correct developmental stage in his life. I am sure I am forgetting many other facets of his life, but the main thing is that I am now not only thinking for myself and Aaron (it's inevitable), but also a precious little boy who cannot think for himself right now and that takes a lot of energy. Most days I don't know if I have any energy left.
How do you balance? That was my question before Rohan was born and after he was born prior to going back to work. The most common answer to that question is, you don't balance. That is why I think juggle is a better word. You cannot give 100% to everything in your life. It is not possible. So each day you have a different plan for what that day entails and where or what your focus will be on. Sunday/Tuesday/Thursday my focus is on work until I get home and it changes to being with my family. Wednesdays Rohan goes to daycare and I focus on school, so I can get 80% of it done. Wednesdays also allow for a little clean up (more like pick up pacifiers, bibs, blankets and toys off the floor and wash some bottles) and laundry and hopefully soon I will add a workout in. Mondays are family days when Aaron and I are both off of work. We try to use these days to get little projects done around the house. We keep trying to take Rohan swimming, but something always comes up - stay tuned we are hoping for this Monday to take a dip in the pool. Fridays and Saturdays I focus on the little man and try to run errands with him and catch up with friends. I do admit some days I just want to lay low. But it seems like the weeks are over in a blink of an eye!
Most mornings start around 5am. If I am working, I shower and then feed Rohan and get him dressed for daycare so he can leave with Aaron around 6am. Once they leave I get ready for work and leave around 635am. We have started a routine with Rohan at night where we bath him, feed him and then we hope that he falls asleep! (ha!) Sometimes he will fall asleep himself, sometimes he needs a little rocking. The last couple nights he has started to eat before bedtime and then again around 430-5am. This is great! Although, Aaron says that he wakes up a few times at night but the pacifier does the trick most of the time. Yes you heard it, Aaron wakes up with him. I guess we have switched roles. I hardly hear Rohan at night and Aaron does so he is my superman and gets up with him.
I am trying to come to grips with our house constantly being a mess. We did hire a cleaning lady for every other week, but it never seems soon enough. At least we know we get a deep clean twice a month and that's more than we would do ourselves. So pathetic. I try to chant "it's OK to be messy all the time". It's not sticking.
All those other mamas out there. God bless you. I don't know how you do it. I just try to take one day at a time. I try. Because I am constantly preparing for the next day to help save time and nerves.
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