Accidental Parenting?

Accidental parenting is a term I have recently learned about after reading one of the many "expert" books about teaching parents how to teach their baby to sleep.  I always fall back on, "did our parents have these books as a guide", probably not and we turned out OK.  I have to admit it is nice to have a "guide" to parenthood.  If that is what you want to call it.  According to the baby whisperer we have done accidental parenting on Rohan.  We use props to help him sleep (rocking, walking, etc.) and this does not help Rohan teach himself how to fall asleep.  She does not believe in letting him cry it out, and has different techniques to calm Rohan when he does not fall asleep on his own.  She admits it can be tedious, and I assure you it is.  My best advice - don't try this after a 12 hour shift, your patience will be wearing thin, fast. 

Rohan has had moments where we lay him down in his pack n play (still in our room) and he falls asleep (like tonight after his bath) but these are more like experimental parenting for us.  We look at each other and agree to "see how it goes", and then go from there.  We realized after 15 minutes of sorting bills and having an adult conversation that Rohan was not crying or fussing.  A glance at the video monitor made us proud parents - Rohan fell asleep on his own.  HE CAN DO IT!  I don't want to hope this is a trend because since November 30th when we brought Rohan home from the NICU, anytime I "hoped this was a trend" it quickly went downhill and was never seen again. 

Each night we take cues from Rohan.  We probably should have started when he was younger like the baby whisperer says, but we didn't.  Sometimes we find ourselves pushing the stroller around in our house with Rohan snoozing as the only way to calm him.  Should we let him cry it out? Should we find what makes him calm? There are many who would disagree with both of those ideas.  We do what we decide is right at that moment.  I can say Rohan is sleeping longer at night and going longer between feedings at night.  He occasionally wakes up in the middle of the night to eat, but that is seldom (once again I am jinxing myself and he will most likely wake up tonight).  We need to work on going to sleep soon after he does, but that is not the easiest thing to do.  Although it is easier now than when he was sleeping every 2-3 hours.  Trust me I do remember those early weeks and because of that we will be waiting a long while to have another baby. 

Really though, who does not participate in accidental parenting?  I don't think we have harmed Rohan yet based on all his smiles he sends our way.